Friday, November 07, 2003
Manic-festo
little sparkling eyes appear in the dark forest of the future
Everything has reached a fever pitch, and the fever must break or take us down. Fortunately, it takes an awful lot to kill the human body. I know through longterm personal experimentation. Neither HIV nor (halfhearted) suicide attempts nor rancor, nor fear nor lack, nor war nor famine nor disease nor insanity has taken me yet, but I feel the fingers of the beyond tickling my back at night. Yet I always have. And now I feel the beyond is upon us. The fingers are massaging my shoulderblades, quite distinctly digging in. They are pushing us, and we must step into it, into the beyond, where nothing stays the same.
In the past few days, my simmer has hit a boil. Through various channels, I have received messages and mirrors, the better to help me understand where I stand and which way I have to move (left hand, green; right leg, yellow). I feel that a very dark night of the soul is about to crack into dawn's early light. I have been down, down with Janis, all the way down into the gulf town blues. There are demons there. They are everywhere, inside us and around us, and we must set them free; let them return to their right place.
We are in our right place. We are earth people. We and the earth are one big dysfunctional family, and now we must come together to function correctly again. It is a time when everyone is looking inside, finding the paradises in their cores, and the challenge now is to unleash them to run free through life. What will be interesting to see is how many of us share the same visions, and what those visions look like, exactly, when manifested.
As for me, I envision a completely freeform peace and plenty. I believe that is the natural state of the earth. I mean, it doesn't feel very good to be any other way, does it? I envision room for people who want to remake cities and room for people who want to live naked and feral in the wild, and I believe communication will shift from telephony to telepathy, which is closer to empathy than speech.
I also believe that our world economy and commercial culture is unsustainable, and that we will all have to work together to change it with the least amount of pain and suffering possible.
But I got off track. And I always get off track when I circle about my first major task, which is healing myself. This must be done by transforming all of my unhealthful addictions (just the normal ones, wink wink) to positive energy generators. I am slowly creeping towards this, and I humbly ask for any and all assistance that might be tossed my way as I make this major change. I know that if I don't, I will die. Part of this change includes a return to a healthy vegetarian diet and a lot of exercise. My despair has led me away from anything that might actually be good for me. That changes now.
My despair has also kept me from getting to the pain in the very core of the novel I am working on. After this weekend, I'm going to post all my working drafts on the blog so that anyone who cares to can peruse the madness of an undisciplined alternate-universaholic at frolic and work. I also call up the strength to dig in and produce a powerful draft this winter, as I sit in my little boat tapping away on my laptop.
I live in a harbor, on the water, in a boat that's the size of a large tent inside. I watch my breath puff empty thought clouds out the porthole as I fall asleep in the v-berth. I am not a lover of the sea, except in a conceptual and basically human sense. I am at home in the forest, talking to the trees. That is where I want to be, singing wordless songs to the squirrels.
So I also step into the wherewithal and balance that will lead me to sufficient financial growth; at least enough to chuck the race and buy some land to lounge and learn on.
And I step into the love I know I have, from which I can better direct my emotions and my truth towards friends and other loved ones.
But wait, I really skimmed over the whole earning/financial thing, didn't I? That's another weak suit for me, mostly because I abhor the economic system and the imbalance it has created. I'd just as soon see money abolished, value freed of markets, and everything bartered. Of course, I really don't envision that at all. What I do envision is our strong, quick leap into the ability to aid in the manipulation and creation of matter on the sub-atomic level; sort of a nanotechnology of the mind, in which state there is no need for money, markets or any permanent matter whatsoever. So, as you can see, it's hard for me to tie a brain-knot around the concept of money.
But I do need to make it. I don't think the economic system is suddenly going to transform overnight, so I do need to make it. Quite a lot of it. If I make a huge amount, I'll give tons of it away to things I believe in, so I might as well go ahead and step into the power, humility and keenness to make a really huge amount of money. How's that?
Let's see. Are there any other issues I wanted to cover? Oh god, I don't know. That seems enough to me. I hate getting too specific in these sorts of declarations. I hate getting too specific in general, in fact. I see a world where everything blurs and bleeds into everything else like a living impressionist sunset.
Mainly; truly, deeply, madly and mainly, I need some time to heal and regroup. I need to buy myself that time, somehow, or create it for myself out of thin air, if possible or necessary. As we slowly move towards our manifest magic, the world is like a spinning plate act. I say let them crash to the ground, and dance.
As a dear friend is fond of saying,
Chow mein, mother fuckers!
Deep draughts of love and peace to all, and to all a good night, Gracie.
Everything has reached a fever pitch, and the fever must break or take us down. Fortunately, it takes an awful lot to kill the human body. I know through longterm personal experimentation. Neither HIV nor (halfhearted) suicide attempts nor rancor, nor fear nor lack, nor war nor famine nor disease nor insanity has taken me yet, but I feel the fingers of the beyond tickling my back at night. Yet I always have. And now I feel the beyond is upon us. The fingers are massaging my shoulderblades, quite distinctly digging in. They are pushing us, and we must step into it, into the beyond, where nothing stays the same.
In the past few days, my simmer has hit a boil. Through various channels, I have received messages and mirrors, the better to help me understand where I stand and which way I have to move (left hand, green; right leg, yellow). I feel that a very dark night of the soul is about to crack into dawn's early light. I have been down, down with Janis, all the way down into the gulf town blues. There are demons there. They are everywhere, inside us and around us, and we must set them free; let them return to their right place.
We are in our right place. We are earth people. We and the earth are one big dysfunctional family, and now we must come together to function correctly again. It is a time when everyone is looking inside, finding the paradises in their cores, and the challenge now is to unleash them to run free through life. What will be interesting to see is how many of us share the same visions, and what those visions look like, exactly, when manifested.
As for me, I envision a completely freeform peace and plenty. I believe that is the natural state of the earth. I mean, it doesn't feel very good to be any other way, does it? I envision room for people who want to remake cities and room for people who want to live naked and feral in the wild, and I believe communication will shift from telephony to telepathy, which is closer to empathy than speech.
I also believe that our world economy and commercial culture is unsustainable, and that we will all have to work together to change it with the least amount of pain and suffering possible.
But I got off track. And I always get off track when I circle about my first major task, which is healing myself. This must be done by transforming all of my unhealthful addictions (just the normal ones, wink wink) to positive energy generators. I am slowly creeping towards this, and I humbly ask for any and all assistance that might be tossed my way as I make this major change. I know that if I don't, I will die. Part of this change includes a return to a healthy vegetarian diet and a lot of exercise. My despair has led me away from anything that might actually be good for me. That changes now.
My despair has also kept me from getting to the pain in the very core of the novel I am working on. After this weekend, I'm going to post all my working drafts on the blog so that anyone who cares to can peruse the madness of an undisciplined alternate-universaholic at frolic and work. I also call up the strength to dig in and produce a powerful draft this winter, as I sit in my little boat tapping away on my laptop.
I live in a harbor, on the water, in a boat that's the size of a large tent inside. I watch my breath puff empty thought clouds out the porthole as I fall asleep in the v-berth. I am not a lover of the sea, except in a conceptual and basically human sense. I am at home in the forest, talking to the trees. That is where I want to be, singing wordless songs to the squirrels.
So I also step into the wherewithal and balance that will lead me to sufficient financial growth; at least enough to chuck the race and buy some land to lounge and learn on.
And I step into the love I know I have, from which I can better direct my emotions and my truth towards friends and other loved ones.
But wait, I really skimmed over the whole earning/financial thing, didn't I? That's another weak suit for me, mostly because I abhor the economic system and the imbalance it has created. I'd just as soon see money abolished, value freed of markets, and everything bartered. Of course, I really don't envision that at all. What I do envision is our strong, quick leap into the ability to aid in the manipulation and creation of matter on the sub-atomic level; sort of a nanotechnology of the mind, in which state there is no need for money, markets or any permanent matter whatsoever. So, as you can see, it's hard for me to tie a brain-knot around the concept of money.
But I do need to make it. I don't think the economic system is suddenly going to transform overnight, so I do need to make it. Quite a lot of it. If I make a huge amount, I'll give tons of it away to things I believe in, so I might as well go ahead and step into the power, humility and keenness to make a really huge amount of money. How's that?
Let's see. Are there any other issues I wanted to cover? Oh god, I don't know. That seems enough to me. I hate getting too specific in these sorts of declarations. I hate getting too specific in general, in fact. I see a world where everything blurs and bleeds into everything else like a living impressionist sunset.
Mainly; truly, deeply, madly and mainly, I need some time to heal and regroup. I need to buy myself that time, somehow, or create it for myself out of thin air, if possible or necessary. As we slowly move towards our manifest magic, the world is like a spinning plate act. I say let them crash to the ground, and dance.
As a dear friend is fond of saying,
Chow mein, mother fuckers!
Deep draughts of love and peace to all, and to all a good night, Gracie.
